Nas Least Greatest Hits

So if you ask anybody that knows me, I'm Nas #1 fan (I'll spare you the photo I have of him and me AND the autographed copy of Illmatic). However, I'm also the first to admit he has released some shitty songs over the years...particularly the years 97-99.

I'm guessing there has to be some inspiration and fan base for these mediocre (at best) songs. Which gets me to thinking...is there a parallel universe of fans out there for whom every Nas track that I hate, they love?

In honor of this idea, I present this compilation as a gesture of friendship to the Nas fans in the parallel universe:

Nas - Least Greatest Hits

1. Money is my bitch
   Do I even need to talk about this one?
2. The Making of the perfect bitch
   Note to studio engineer: If Nas ever thinks of making another song with "bitch" in the title (Life's A Bitch excepted), don't bother recording it.
   
3. Oochie Wally
   Wow this song sucked...and the worst part about it was that it was so popular. You were forced to hear your favorite artist at his lowest point, in front of everyone...repeatedly.
   
4. Small World
   ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Oh, I'm sorry. Was I doing something?
   
5. Dr. Knockboots
   This song was the beginning of the end for about 10 years for many Nas fans. I remember when it came out though many rap nerds were defending it.
   
6. Life Is What You Make It
   This song has a great positively uplifting title...just make sure you don't listen to it. The beat is absolutely horrible and the DMX feature only adds to the pain.
   
7. Big Things
   Nas trying out his double-time flow...while being very inebriated. I think he may have just rapped some crappy flow at regular tempo and then the studio engineer went back and sped it up after the fact. Great idea!
   
8. Shoot 'em Up
   This song we can all remember from Bill O'Lielly using it to make his point why Nas was an asshole. Scary, but I can side with Bill on this one (although not for the same reasons): this song should have never been made.
   
9. Last Words
   I think we're all very happy these weren't his last words.
   
10. God Love Us
    I think someone fell asleep with their head on the keyboard...and Nas just kept rapping.
    
11. Quiet Niggas
    Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! You don't want to wake him, he might make more horrible songs like this.
    
12. Big Girl
    I think this would make a great country song title about loving big women. Unfortunately Nas doesn't sing country and this song isn't about that.
    
13. You Owe Me
    This was the cry heard across the globe as fans listened to this song.
    
14. Who Killed It?
    If I had to point any fingers I would say the beat did.
    
15. Zone Out
    Recorded live during a game of lazer tag between Nas and the Bravehearts.
    
16. Braveheart Party
    Nope, I didn't forget this one - even though Nas yanked this from the subsequent versions of Stillmatic...I can still smell the stench.
17. Suicide Bounce
    From the sound of this song and its "futuristic" production I think the producers were envisioning a future universe filled with people that no longer had rhythm or ears that could discern pleasing sounds and rhymes. All they are left with is the ability to hear sharp keyboard twangs. Or maybe the song was meant as a call for people to commit mass suicide by trying to listen?!?
    

Take a listen.